Lost Again

After some time I’ve come to realise that I’m again on that same journey towards nowhere, lost again in the midst of everything. All alone choosing to walk without God. Sometimes don’t you just feel that you’re capable of living this life without God? You’re smart enough to deal with the situations that come, courage to face the fears… the line goes on but yet why do I feel this emptiness in my heart? Despite God’s faithfulness, I seem to have concluded that even without God I would have been great. Look at how arrogant I can get! Disgusting but yet this is who I am. I need to learn humility like never before! Will I never learn from my mistakes?

That’s the price to pay I guess for forsaking God but thank God His people never cease to pray and encourages me in the faith! HAIZ! So much head knowledge but not in my heart! Zhen Ming warned me bout this! Need to pray more to understand better His will for me, church and His people! Sometimes I don’t even know why I do the things I do, trying to be righteous, upright. No wonder pastor says we’ll never make it by our own effort.

Sorry Lord for forsaking you and believing I’m capable enough to live this life of mine without your grace so freely given! Open up my eyes to see that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom! And truly I will be able to live my life wisely! Teach me humility for pride will be my downfall. You’ve been ever so faithful never choosing to forsake me sending all the encouragements around me and constantly reminding me that you’re near! Thank you Lord!