Recently, things haven't gone well for me. Relationship issues, Work, practically everything is running out of my control and I seem to be in a mess. It seems like I'm going in a cycle of hurt and disappointment in myself and its ever so vicious.
I just really want to make a commitment to really focus and get my life in order again. My mind is so filled with thoughts and so cluttered my words aren't even coherent...
I just really need to throw up all that is within. To put everything on paper and then from there sort them out.
I just hope I can really put things into order before I embark on my university studies in UniSIM. It's my chance of redeeming myself for not doing well for my A's. I really want to prove and make my Dad proud. I have been such a disappointment to have allowed myself to be overly arrogant and prideful. I was distracted and focused on other things but it was the arrogance and pride that I had within myself that told myself I'll be able to catch up that got me in that mess so LEARN from it.
I find myself ever so selfish, defensive and deceitful sometimes. I am not perfect and I know it. There's so much of me that needs to change.
Change is hard inside of me!
I just hope and pray that the Lord will never give up on me and to continue to do His work inside of me. To mould me and to make me into His likeness.
Dear Heavenly Father, I wonder what would you have me do with my life. What would you want me to deal with and how do you want me to deal with it? I do seek to please you but how do I go about doing so? Lord guide me and show me. I am confused. I am lost. I just hope you'll open up my eyes to see what You have in store for me.
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